It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm always down for nudity.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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