i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
