Where did you get a picture of my penis
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
