Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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