Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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