just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
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He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize