Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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