I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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