White coat. Heels.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
