Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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