what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
