We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
