so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
