We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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