no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
