Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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