my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Even my vagina gasped.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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