You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
