He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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