Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Text me some of your sweat
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
