I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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