Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
