you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
