I need help removing her.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
