He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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