Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Alive.
So much puke
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
