and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
