There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
