i permit you to call me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
