So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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