was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Please don't give away my fajitas
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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