I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize