her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize