I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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