I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
