i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
