I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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