Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
operation have a gay friend backfired
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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