saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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