My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
