I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
