He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
