Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
