Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
