that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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