You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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