This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize