the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
