Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
