if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
