Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
