Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
