Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Farmville is her only friend.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
