you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
