So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
