A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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