If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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