there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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