College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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