The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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