he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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