This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
